“Great with Sandwiches!”
Really? Well, that sucks, because when I buy anything that is marketed as “Sandwich Anything,” and cut in such a way to suggest that they pretty much belong on a sandwich, my natural assumption is that they are going to suck with sandwiches... taste like crap, that kind of thing.
That’s why I would buy them, after all — anticipating that they would suck.
So it’s good that they’ve told me so I can be prepared.
And, since it’s in print, naturally I believe them – how could they say it, especially in print, if it weren’t true?
Annoying though it seems, I guess it must be helpful at some level.
Earl: “Hey… uh, Hank?”
Hank: “Yeah, Earl?”
Earl: “Say… about these pickles here... these that say ‘sandwich slices’ on the jar … I need a little advice.”
Hank: “They’re fresh – I just opened ‘em a couple of days ago.”
Earl: “Thanks, but that’s not it.”
Hank: “What did ‘ya need, Earl ol’ pal?”
Earl: “Well, I was thinking about having a sandwich.”
Hank: “Good idea. I’m gittin’ a little hungry mahself.”
Earl: “Yeah, but these pickles here – these ‘sandwich slices’ – do you think those would go good with a sandwich?”
Hank: “I’m not sure. They’re called “Sandwich Slices,” you say?”
Earl: “Yep.”
Hank: “I’m sorry, buddy, I wouldn’t want to lead you astray. You’re a good friend, so I’ll just face up to the fact that I don’t rightly know whether them ‘sandwich slices’ are good with sandwiches or not.”
Earl: “Ah, well.”
Hank: “Wait – look on top – does the lid say anything about it?”
Earl: “Oh – yeah – says ‘great with sandwiches.’ Thanks, man. Now I know!”
Hank: “Any time, Earl. Any time. You’re a good friend.”
Earl: “Your sister is hot.”
Hank: “She’s not bad, but I’ve seen better.”
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