Is Your Personality Ruining Your Relationships?

The broken promise that is eHarmony (Slogan: “Matching you with people who signed up to ‘review their matches for free’ but had to create a profile first and are hence now in our system but you will never hear from them because they are not here and you can be sure that this is the real problem and it is not because they do not like you because they would at least have closed their match with you if not interested because they otherwise would not be able to get new matches and that does not make sense now does it and so it should be clear that they never subscribed and long ago realized the same thing that you just did but we have a smarmy guy with three last names (almost rhymes with ‘deal shark baron’) on our commercials so people sign up and give us money.”) still sends me links to articles on their “eHarmony Advice” site. Some of them are interesting, such as:

• Eight Bad Reasons for a Break Up
• Five Dating Rules you Should Never Break
• Is your Friend Really a “Frenemy?”
• Nine Signs You’ve Met “The One”

Users comment on articles (including some accurate comments disparaging the obviousness or pointlessness of the article), and there are discussion boards, with topics such as:

What would make you want to approach a guy?

This particular thread started with a question from a guy, who, like me, doesn’t get “approached” by women, and was wondering just what he could do to increase the odds of being approached.

Much wisdom may have indeed been imparted by the first woman to answer:

Do you see that girl at the end of the bar who caught your eye and smiled? Maybe she blushed and looked away really quick and you weren’t sure if she actually did look at you so you keep your eye on her and she glances back in your directions?

You’ve just been approached.

See? That's cool. That’s helpful. I’ve heard that elsewhere, and will be keeping it in mind. (Women: if you are wondering how it could be that this isn’t intuitively obvious to me, you’re forgetting what should be obvious to you — I’m male. We just don’t get it. It can’t be helped.)

Whether this is interesting or obvious to you, where I’m going here is that unlike eHarmony itself, this site is free, so anybody – eSmarmony member or not — can sign up and participate.

But, the real purpose of the site is to serve as yet another reason to get you clicking on something related to eHarmony, and ultimately give them money. That brings me back (finally – thank you, ADD) to the purpose of this post. Here’s the title of the article:

Is Your Personality Ruining your Relationships?

Think about the question for just a minute. Are you laughing yet? I hope you are.

The answer? “Well, yeah, of course my personality is ruining my relationships! Duh!”

Seriously, what’s your personality if it’s not the essence of who you are? And isn’t who you are, compared to who the other person is, what makes or breaks a relationship? That doesn’t mean you need to be different — you are who you are — and if you change your personality to try to make a relationship work, it might work for a while, but not forever.

So... will this article be of value to me?

Are you the kind of person who rarely gets mad? Are you usually happy? Your answers are the clues to your personality which can affect your relationships. This all leads back to the main question – what motivates you to act in certain ways?

Well… wait a second. Back up the truck. That wasn’t the main question. I thought the main question was whether my personality was ruining my relationships.

The process of finding someone right for you starts with getting to know yourself better. That's why we've developed our Premium Personality Profile.

Ah. I should have expected that this article wasn’t going to be informative. You get it, yes? Premium = Not Free. Not even free if you’re an eHarmony paying customer.